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I'm the smartest, prettiest, funniest girl you ever saw, you just don't know it yet.
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20Q
A Twisted Day In The Life Of...
Anenigma
Danielle
Geek In Black
Glibbertysmidgeon
Go Fug Yourself
The Invincible Revenge Of Mr. Brick
The Marj Memoirs
Mark Pickerel
Waiter Rant
Warren Ellis
Weetabix
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The day I wrote my last post, almost a week ago, I cried a lot. I've been stressed out and exhausted, never getting enough hours at work but feeling like I'm always there, and the store manager bullied me into giving up my shift and, consequently, $50. I wonder if he remembers when $50 was a lot of money. At least I found out that the new long-wearing mascara from mark. totally rocks.
For a week or so I've been having pain and blurred vision in my left eye. It's nothing serious, and for the first two or three days I didn't even entertain the idea that it could be MS-related. So far nothing I've experienced in my year and a half with the disease has been painful. Extremely uncomfortable and strange and unpleasant, but never painful. I think I had convinced myself that my version of the disease did not include unexplained pain. It wasn't until I asked Google whether or not optic neuritis is painful that it really occurred to me that this could be the problem. When Google answered 'yes', I made an appointment with an opthamologist.
My case of optic neuritis is very mild, and even if it never went away, I wouldn't really lose much in the way of vision; more than anything the blurring is annoying, because it feels like I'm just looking through a smudge on my glasses that no amount of cleaning will fix. Even still, I cried when the very English doctor asked me about my history with MS and explained to me exactly how he knew it was optic neuritis and not just eye strain.
This morning when I was drying my hair I noticed that my left pupil was significantly more dilated than the right. When the doctor shone his little flashlight into my right eye, my left pupil did not react as it should have. An interesting fact that makes sense, but that I was not consciously aware of before today, is that when you shine a light into one eye it communicates with the other and both adjust identically in size to let that light in. Somewhere in the space between my eyes the impulses are being interrupted, and my left eye does not respond right away.
It's not the end of the world by a long shot, and it's definitely a silly thing to be so upset about, but I still cried. I was glad that I wore my good mascara again today, because I cried again when I absentmindedly locked my keys in my car at the supermarket, and again when the locksmith didn't charge me.
I also locked my keys in my car on Tuesday, and I admitted this to her and said that the locksmith who rescued me that day was unable to gain access by the usual methods and had to result to picking the lock. Since the guy on Tuesday is such a good locksmith, she was worried that she would be unable to help me, and she said that she prayed to God and told him that if she was able to open my car she wouldn't charge me. I guess I have two reasons to be glad that she was able to get in.
I was watching "Say Anything" on television yesterday, and Diane philosophized that good things always happen with bad things. Looking back on the last week or so, I might be inclined to agree.
The next three movies I will be watching, courtesy of Netflix:
1: Suicide Girls: The First Tour
2: Hotel Rwanda
3: In Good Company
